Broad things (feelings, principles, ideals, concepts, traits) I think are important based on my beliefs that naturally produce my goals.
(kind of like categories of goals, or indices, or tags)
Freedom
The feeling that you can do the things you wish to do, whether physically, socially, or cognitively etc.
Barriers to freedom lead to suffering. Common barriers to freedom I continuously strive to break down through discomfort:
- monkey brain impulses
- insecurities
- opinions and expectations of others (learn to manage, not ignore)
- inability to dance
- inability to learn and do hard things
- poor sleep
This value is a commitment to building the character trait of seeking discomfort and investing in the habits that enable me to do so more effectively.
Truth/Curiosity
Truth = the correct representation of reality Curiosity = the pursuit of truth
If there’s a piano and we’re discussing how long it is, I want to actually go out and measure how long the table is, instead of settling at an average of our guesses.
I’ve always been wired like this. My parents are university professors, so I think I was raised to constantly question things. I am naturally bothered by things I don’t understand and have a high standards of evidence.
This is a blessing and a curse. It takes extra time and effort upfront, and can lead you down rabbit holes, but in the long run will leave you more fulfilled and with the upper hand in most domains.
This value is a commitment to lifelong learning.
Resilience
The ability to quickly regain momentum after a hardship.
Life is hard. This value is a commitment to developing a box of tools to help me get back up when I fall.
Authenticity
Staying true to yourself, whatever you identify that is for the particular season of your life.
Authenticity is a notoriously tricky concept. What even is the “self”? You have to be false to your personality to be true to your goals a LOT of the time
Perhaps authenticity is more concerned with elevating my actual self to my ideal self, and living in accordance with that version of yourself.
Either way, self-knowledge is the foundation upon which authenticity is built.
This value is a commitment to know thyself.
Empathy
The ability to mirror the neurobiological state of another person.
Hustle culture prioritizes the self to the exclusion of others (unmitigated agency).
This value is a commitment to trying to understand others.
Vulnerability
The ability to risk being judged by others.
Vulnerability breeds vulnerability, and is one of the most powerful mechanisms of human connection.
This value is a commitment to combat the fear of judgement.
Fun fact: mutual, escalating vulnerability is the thesis behind the NYT’s 36 questions to fall in love.
Imperfectionnism
Having the ability to recognize and will to accept the right imperfections.
The last 20% of some life project is often less valuable than you think, the last 10% rarely as valuable, and the last 5% almost never as valuable.
Finding the one or two things to go 100% on is perhaps the second most important thing in life, after marrying the right partner.
This value is a commitment to being effective.